Why do couples so often feel like both the villain and the victim in conflict? This insightful CPD talk explores the psychological and neurobiological roots of subjectivity in relationships, illuminating how attachment dynamics shape conflict, blame, and emotional reactivity. Drawing on both neuroscience and psychoanalytic theory, this presentation offers clinicians a deeper understanding of how unconscious processes and defensive narratives emerge in relational distress — particularly the “hurt-hate” dynamic often seen in couples therapy. Practical therapeutic strategies are introduced to help couples move from blame to repair, fostering more reflective and compassionate interactions
Learning Outcomes
By the end of the talk the participant will be able to:
Understand the role of subjectivity in the perception of blame and injury within intimate relationships.
Describe how attachment patterns contribute to the "villain/victim" dynamic in couple conflict.
Identify the neurobiological mechanisms that underpin emotional reactivity in relational distress.
Apply strategies that help couples shift from adversarial positions to mutual understanding and repair.
Integrate psychoanalytic and neuroscience-informed perspectives into formulation and treatment planning.